Advanced Physical Chemistry_A Romantic Comedy by Susannah Nix

Author:Susannah Nix [Nix, Susannah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Haver Street Press
Published: 2018-03-15T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

How do you seduce a man?” Penny asked when she went for coffee with some of the women from her yoga class the next morning.

Melody shrugged. “I honestly haven’t the faintest idea.”

Tessa reached for her coffee, shaking her head. “Definitely not my area.”

They both turned to look at Tessa’s girlfriend Lacey, who had the body of a female wrestler and a face that could be on the cover of Vogue.

“Why is everyone staring at me?” Lacey asked. “Just because I’m bi you assume I’m some kind of loose woman? That’s a vicious stereotype.”

Tessa’s eyebrows lifted in amusement. “A ‘loose woman’? Did we time travel back to the Jazz Age?”

“Come on,” Melody said, poking Lacey in the arm. “I know you’ve dated more men than me.”

Lacey shook her head. “I’ve slept with more men than you. Sex isn’t the same thing as dating.”

“But that’s exactly what I want,” Penny said. “I don’t want to date him. I just want to sleep with him.”

“Wow,” Lacey said, looking surprised.

“What?” Penny could be a loose woman if she wanted to. There was nothing wrong with being a loose woman. It was called being in charge of your own sexual desire.

“I thought you were off men,” Melody said.

Penny shrugged and sipped her latte. “I’m off relationships. Meaningless sex is still on the table.”

“Who are you trying to have meaningless sex with?” Tessa asked, resting her chin in her hands.

“It doesn’t matter,” Penny said. “It’s just this guy.”

“I’m going to need more details if you want my advice,” Lacey said, letting her long, black hair out of its ponytail. “Spill.”

Penny stared at her coffee. “He kissed me the other day, so I know he’s attracted to me, but I’m having trouble getting him off first base.”

“Maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman,” Melody said.

“But that’s the whole problem. I don’t want him to be a gentleman, I want him to bang me like a screen door.”

Tessa’s eyes widened. “Penny!”

“What? What’s wrong with that?”

Lacey grinned. “Nothing’s wrong with that. High five, girl.” Penny reached across the table to slap her palm.

Melody frowned. “But maybe he’s taking it slow because he wants more than just meaningless sex.”

“Not an option,” Penny said. “He’s moving away in a few weeks.”

Lacey nodded. “You want a goodbye bang. One for the road.”

“Yes!” Penny leaned forward excitedly. “That’s exactly what I want! How do I get him to do that?”

Everyone looked at Lacey again. “Seriously?” she said.

Tessa smirked at her. “Everyone at this table who’s successfully seduced a man into your bed, raise your hand.”

Lacey lifted her chin in Melody’s direction. “You. Raise your hand.”

“Nope.” Melody shook her head. “My seduction technique amounts to following a man around like a lovesick idiot for months hoping he’ll notice me eventually. I don’t recommend it.”

Penny looked hopefully at Lacey. “Come on. You’ve got to have some wisdom you can give me.”

Lacey rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. Here it is: men are dogs. They don’t need to be seduced.”

“How does that help me?” Penny asked, confused.

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